GROWING PAINS

In a matter of hours, no minutes I will have a sixteen year old daughter.

...and I'm kinda freakin out.

I remember turning sixteen myself, 

and I promise it was yesterday. 

I have become a restless sleeper just lately.  

I take my sleep in small slices during the night. Here and there. 

The other night, I'm pretty sure I was fully asleep, 

but a moment later I found myself fully awake.

With one thought running across my mind; 

"Hilary, you have a thirteen year old son.....

     you are about to have a sixteen year old daughter.....

         and a week after that you will be the proud owner of an eighteen year old son...

(or legal adult?)

(shriek!!)

I'm not saying that I don't feel old and look old and act old...

because I dooooo! (Nacho Libre voice) 

I'm just having difficulty pointing to where all the time has gone. There has to be some mistake.

How did we go from this...

          
                                          to this...

                                                                in a blink?


One minute she is on the back of her horse saying..."mom, him is my best friend"

the next minute she's...behind the wheel and I'm in the passenger seat yelling at her to slow down and reminding her that the slowest part of any turn should be at the first 

and that she didn't check her blind spot....and she's yelling back at me to stop screaming at her and that I'm stressing her out and she would rather drive with Dad and I yell back that she needs to quit yelling and calm down and that when I was her age I never dreamed of talking back to my mother that way...

Again, how did we get here?


I am very suspicious of "TIME", he has cheated me somehow - that sneaky bandit. 

Impossible that it has been sixteen years since I first held my dark haired, 

dark eyed, baby monkey...er baby girl.

I was tricked into thinking I had more time with her as she grew up.

More time to teach her,

to love her,

to laugh with her, 

to comb her hair, 

to pick out her outfits, 

to tell her how she is not going to wear that ugly sweatshirt out in public, 

to question if she's really going to wear her hair like that again, 

to tell her what to say, 

and what to think...

  

 and to control ever aspect of her life.

Yep, it's all slipping away from me. 

I know, I know...

Get over it, you say -

Girls turn sixteen right and left now-a-days.

It's life.

I get it.

I'll probably handle myself just fine -

The problem is I have to deal with this guy. 

His little girl is sixteen.

Today will weigh heavy on his mind.  

Any dad out there will know his heartbreak.

Below is one of my very first posts ever written on my blog.

I think it's my most favorite post. 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

(original post written April of 2008 - Lauren was twelve)

4.29.2008

Growing Pains

       Lauren has wanted her ears pierced for oh, about a year now. 

But every time I would suggest we go, she seemed apprehensive and a bit uninterested.

It wasn’t until her very good friend Madison just recently got her ears pierced that Lauren suddenly had renewed enthusiasm. 

So the date was set; a mommy/daughter date to get Lauren’s ears pierced. Dean happened to have a rare night off, so he came along and also little sister Riv in tow. 

At the store, Dean and Lauren chose the pricey earrings, I would’ve talked her into the cheap ones, but Dean insisted on the fancy ones. 

       Finally the moment arrived; Lauren was in the chair, her ears were marked. 

Lauren opted for not knowing when it was going to happen. Then, just like that, the saleslady pierced Lauren’s right ear. I was trying to catch it all on video; I looked at Lauren who was smiling, and River who was simply enthralled. I looked up at Dean who was standing in the background with his arms folded and holding back the tears. 

I of course, teared up as well not expecting his reaction. Later, as we walked through the mall I asked Dean why he got so choked up. 

He said, “It was really hard to just stand there, and in a moment watch her grow up. 

As we were walking out Dean put an arm around Lauren, and said; “you look very pretty, just be sure to let me know when you're getting married.” 

I had been telling Lauren ‘it’s only going to hurt a little” 

                      I guess I should’ve been saying that to Dean as well.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     

~ So Happy Birthday Lauren Kate ~

Here's to the next sixteen! 

I promise Dad and I will try to get a grip.